Lo and I recently got on the topic of how we struggle with graciously accepting compliments.
If multiple comedians have written skits about it then I’m assuming it’s not just us. Far too often women downplay compliments with some type of self inflicted criticism. We discussed how this must reflect on our children and how it might (definitely) portray a lack of confidence in their mothers. We were taught this behavior somewhere along the way because it’s cute, right? It doesn’t come across as being self absorbed and I read somewhere that quite simply women are taught to be confident but not too confident. To add to this, we find ourselves acting this way while talking about our own children. Yikes.
This is so silly when you think about it. Accepting a compliment is not you walking around talking yourself up or telling the other person that they don’t possess the same level of qualities or abilities that you do. Yet somehow just saying “thank you” without adding a quick comment to downplay yourself almost makes you feel icky like that. We all know full and well that everyone has their own God given gifts similar or unique to your own.
So can’t we just celebrate them?
Lo and I both have two different personalities in our children with our youngest being our firecrackers. We realized that on certain days if someone says “they’re so cute” we respond with a “good thing he/she is cute because he/she is a handful”… Or “look how great he/she is doing! We’ll respond with a … “Yeah right NOW but don’t hold your breath…”
I don’t even want to think about the psychology that goes into how this must negatively affect our children. If we don’t have the motivation to change for ourselves we must make a conscious effort to squash this habit for the sake of our children.
When my daughter receives a compliment if she just smiles I often lean over and whisper “say thank you.” I don’t whisper… Tell them you aren’t always this patient or that the dress is from the $5.00 sale rack. So why not follow the same simple words of advice for ourselves? Accept the compliment for what it was: a flattering comment of praise or admiration. You go girl.
-CO + LO